It was the interview of a lifetime. As a waiting family who had chosen to adopt, our lifebook was shown to birth parents who were choosing to place their child with a family. After taking a look, they wanted to get to know us more. The next step was an interview where we would meet face-to-face. The intersection of our choices packed this moment with intensity. For us it was the tension of laying aside our deep longing for what we wanted in pursuit of what was best for everyone, including the unborn child at the center of our attention. Knowing the birth parents were the ones who would ultimately choose, we had to rest our faith in God’s hands and trust the outcome to be His absolute best. They came prepared with a long list of questions, 32 to be exact. It was obvious their need to choose well was a high priority and they were not taking the decision lightly. We met at a restaurant, gathered at a round table with an assistant from CPO to help the conversation along as needed. As we all pushed past our emotions, we began to have the most delightful conversation and exchange of values. The list of 32 questions never made it to the table. Leaving the interview was harder than coming. But, we left with an exchange of phone numbers and within 24 hours a call came from the birth parents announcing we were chosen for the job. The job of a lifetime, to be the parents of this child they loved enough to make this incredibly hard choice. The words of acceptance left us speechless. What could we say? Being chosen in this way took our breath away. We had mutually chosen them; to embrace them on this journey toward new life, dreaming the rewards of such a hard choice would reap opportunities they never dreamed possible. We were committed to loving, cherishing and supporting them as much as we would the child they entrusted to us.
The reality of being chosen bears an appreciation beyond words. So often, we grapple with how to give appropriate thanks for such an extraordinary gift. It mirrors God’s love for us, making my heart melt into the greatness of His ways all the more.
Before the foundation of the world my friends; You, I, We, They….were chosen:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. – Ephesians 1:3-6
As we process each of our children’s lives in light of their adoption, the focus remains on the fundamental truth; they were chosen. It’s the framework of their identity and it’s an absolute truth. As I see newsfeeds buzzing with sentiment about orphans to create awareness about adoption my heart is cut like a knife. This is not at all the story for those who bravely made the choice to make an adoption plan or the identity of my children. An orphan in its true definition is a child whose parents are dead. Using the term orphans greatly narrows the message of adoption to a very small demographic and isolates others. The majority of adoptions are the result of powerful choices being made by caring people who want the best for a child. So I’m asking you to consider using chosen to promote adoption. It describes an unfailing love broadly applied and assures us all that we are part of an unending story. Just imagine if our adoption awareness Sundays exploded with the message, Choosing You. It is my hope you will ponder this, share it with others and be an active part of an adoption story.
Denise and her husband of 22 years, Tony, reside on an Urban Farm in Tulsa. Through the indescribable gift of adoption, they have 3 children: Mycheal (19), Levi (7) and Nathalie (3). Denise and Tony served as missionaries to the military in Heidelberg, Germany and continue serving stateside at Sanctuary Church. Denise is an Assistant Director with Crisis Pregnancy Outreach, helping women in crisis and mentoring families through the adoption journey. She’s a passionate year-round gardener. You will often find her hands in the dirt and her mind blooming with ideas!