Each month we will feature a “retro” CPO article, one that is pulled from our archives of quarterly newsletters. Whenever possible we will provide details regarding the author and date of publication.
This month’s Retro CPO article was written by an adoptive mother, Shonni Hassoldt, in the summer of 2005.
As I walked into the hospital room where I knew she lay, I felt so unsure, nervous, and hesitant. In one of the most wonderful times of my life, how should I respond to the one who just gave birth to our little boy and had made the painful and courageous decision to give that precious child to another to raise?
For years, Steve and I had hoped to be chosen by a birth mother to parent her baby. Yes, we have six children, yet deep inside we knew that God had more for us. With excitement and a determined trust in God’s best, we waited. Finally, on December 1, 2004, we received the exciting news that a birth mother had chosen our family for her baby, which was due any week!
I felt so blessed, but even more than that, I felt very honored to be chosen by this woman I had never met. I wanted to somehow communicate what was in my heart: not just gratitude, but a deep feeling of God bringing our hearts together in a uniquely special way, through the wonder of adoption.
Now, two weeks later, on the threshold of her hospital door, I trembled with the excitement of seeing our baby and our birth mother. With a quick prayer that I would say and do the right things to comfort her and help her feel at ease, I walked in with our 11-year-old daughter, who had come with me.
There she was. I walked right up to her and hugged her. She was so beautiful and so gracious. Before my eyes was a stranger, yes. However, she was just a woman, like me, only in a different situation. How I admired and wondered at her strength! She had the courage to make an adoption plan for her baby, choosing lovingly to endure her own pain. We spent time talking and getting to know one another. She smiled and talked and put ME at ease. I was so anxious to see the baby, but it was almost an hour before they brought him in. Finally, there he was, and I hesitated again. What was my role in this situation? I wanted to rejoice over our new baby, and I wanted SO MUCH not to forget this precious lady who had just given birth to him and loved him deeply. God in His GREAT LOVE helped us find our places in a little hospital room. What were those places? Two women openly adoring the miracle of this tiny little baby and sharing the deeply intimate love of two mothers.
Now, our little boy is six months old, and like all children, he is a blessing and a gift from the Lord. We all enjoy him so much. I love sharing with our birth mother what our little boy is doing, what he looks like, and how everything is going. She will always be a part of us. She gave us the most precious gift one could give, and she will always hold a piece of my heart. And, in my heart, there will always be a place that belongs only to her. Our baby is a blessing, but the true miracle took place in a little hospital room, when God brought two mothers together, and a baby found home.