Each month we will feature a “retro” CPO article, one that is pulled from our archives of quarterly newsletters. Whenever possible we will provide details regarding the author and date of publication. This month’s Retro CPO article was written by Teresa, a beautiful birth mother. It was written in spring of 2008.
I look inside myself, desperate to see-
on a mission to discover the “brand new” me.
Am I so different than I was before,
when crack was my god and his servant a whore.
In my memories, I can see the streets.
I feel the loneliness, despair, and defeat.
My body was always exhausted.
I was forever on the move,
money to make,
things to take,
not a second to lose.
The trick was to stay in motion,
not to let thoughts enter my head.
There was a baby growing inside of me.
when I was so dead.
Did I know I was hurting the baby?
I had to be aware.
The problem was deep inside of me.
I didn’t have the ability to care.
I moved without direction,
no concern for my path.
Why plan for the next day,
when today could be my last.
The following is the “rest of the story”, as told by Cheryl Bauman in 2008.
At that point, Teresa called out to God and asked Him to send someone into her room at Hillcrest, someone that she could trust. Within seconds, He sent a wonderful nurse into her room, and within an hour, I was at the hospital with life books and a promise that CPO would not only find the perfect family for her baby boy, but that we would provide her with all she needed to turn her life around.
Today, Teresa has an excellent job, is growing emotionally and spiritually, and trusts the Lord with her life. She has an awesome relationship with her son’s adoptive parents, and has a renewed relationship with two of her daughters, who live in another state. She has 10 months of being clean and sober, and lives in our transitional home. Gone are the days of being in prison, using drugs to numb the pain of an excruciatingly horrid childhood, and making money however she could. Today, Teresa has begun to believe us when we tell her how precious she is to God, and to us. When I look at her, everything CPO has done to minister to girls and women in crisis pregnancies in the last 25 years seems totally “worth it.” God is so incredibly faithful.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT