We’re here to help women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. It is our number one priority. If you do not see the answer to your question listed here, do not hesitate to contact us.
What is Open Adoption?
Open adoption involves an ongoing relationship between you, the birth mom, and the adoptive family. This openness allows you to be a part of your birth child’s life as he grows up. Many of our adoptive families and birth moms build such strong relationships that it seems they are like extended family. You, as the birth mom, can choose how open you would like the relationship to be. Openness can include visits, phone calls, letters, pictures, social media connections, and email. You can speak more with the counselor about what reasonable open adoption relationships are and how they can benefit both you and your birth child.
If I make an adoption plan for my baby, will he grow up thinking I don’t love him?
Your birth child’s adoptive parents will always assure him of your love. You can tell him everything about yourself that you want him to know, and also have the opportunity to tell him how much you love him and that that is WHY you have chosen to give him a two-parent, stable home.
If I choose to have my baby adopted, will I be able to see her in the hospital?
Yes, definitely! You will be able to spend as much time with your baby as you choose while you are in the hospital.
Can I stay involved with Crisis Pregnancy Outreach after my baby is born?
We encourage you to stay involved with CPO as long as you wish. We have a birth mother who is still coming after placing her son 18 years ago. She is now in a position to be of such help to new women who are going through the process. There will not be any other group of people who will so totally understand what you are feeling.
How are adoptive families screened?
Potential adoptive couples must complete a home study—a court-required document written by a licensed social worker. It describes the adoptive family, their activities, and how they are or how they plan to be good parents. It also includes a criminal background check and references from people who know the adoptive couple. They are also required to attend a 2 ½-day Waiting Families’ Workshop, provided by CPO. The home study and application information is reviewed by our staff before a family is accepted by our agency.
How do I choose an adoptive family for my baby?
The adoptive family will create a Family Profile called a “Life Book” that tells all about them. We usually have between 25-30 Life Books on hand. You will be able to look through the books we have available that meet your preferences, such as geographical location or already having children in the home. We encourage you to look at as many as you would like and narrow your selection. You will then have an opportunity to meet and talk with the family, if you choose.
I don’t live in Oklahoma. Can I still use the services of CPO?
Yes, you can. We’ve helped women from all across the U.S.
Will my baby ever be in foster care?
No. CPO does not use foster care. Your baby will go home from the hospital with the parents you have chosen for him.
If I choose a family that lives in another state, will I get to meet that family?
Yes, at the very least through telephone calls and letters or e-mail. Often a couple will be able to travel to Tulsa to meet with you during your pregnancy. Couples are asked to travel to Tulsa shortly before the baby is due and to be at the hospital when the baby is born. The adoptive family is required to stay in Oklahoma until some legal paperwork is complete, usually 2-3 weeks. In many cases, these families will stay with a local CPO adoptive family for these weeks.
What happens to me after I’ve entrusted my baby to an adoptive family?
CPO will work with your specific circumstances and will help you with getting a place to live and a job or back in school, if that’s what you need. You will be encouraged and ALWAYS welcome to attend CPO’s weekly support group meetings. Letters, photos and visits will continue to let you know your baby is doing well.
Will I be able to send letters and gifts to my child on his birthday and Christmas?
Yes, you certainly will be able and even encouraged to keep in contact with your birth child. This is important to his growth and development and sense of personal identity. We want him to always have the answers to his questions.
Are there families who would be comfortable with me seeing my birth child several times a year?
Yes. We have many families who see their child’s birth mom on a very regular basis. We are committed to VERY open adoptions, and the potential adoptive parents are aware of our expectations from the time they apply with our agency.
I already have another child. Have you ever had a birth mom who already was parenting make an adoption plan for the baby she is currently expecting?
Yes. Almost 60 percent of the birth moms who place with CPO are already parenting older children.
Will I be able to share my family’s medical history with my child?
We will provide you with a 67-page form that includes many questions about your medical history. It is VERY important that you fill this out as completely as possible. This information will be valuable to your child’s health care providers.
How long can I continue to see the counselor that is assigned to me?
You can see the counselor every week of your pregnancy, and for as long as you want to after the baby is born. We have many birth moms that continue to see the counselor from time to time for several years. It is a service that we believe is very important and will always be available to you. If you move away you can still connect with her by phone.
What does CPO mean by ‘private medical care’ provided to birth mothers?
You will be seen by the same doctor on every visit and he or she will be the doctor who delivers your baby. The care is very personal and you will be seen and treated as a person, never a case number.
I’ve heard that there aren’t many adoptive families for children of color.
CPO always has families waiting to adopt children of any ethnicity.
I have some Native American heritage. How will that affect the adoption?
Federal law requires that your baby be placed with an adoptive family that has documented blood of the same tribe. Fortunately, many of our “waiting families” have a Native American heritage and a tribal roll card.
I have heard that adoptive families pay very large sums of money to adopt a baby. Is this true and where does the money go?
While this can be true at other agencies or with private adoptions, CPO is a totally non-profit agency and no one associated with CPO is paid a salary or benefits monetarily from the fees. We simply ask adoptive families to pay an agency fee of $5,000. All of the money is used to pay our operating expenses, to buy maternity clothes and personal care items that birth mothers might need, to pay for support group supplies, etc.
How long has CPO been a licensed adoption agency?
We have been a licensed adoption agency since 1983. We have always encouraged openness in adoptions, even before “open adoption” became popular.
Is there a ‘better business bureau’ for adoption agencies?
The Oklahoma Department of Human Services licenses adoption agencies in the state. If you have questions about the agency, you can contact them at 405-521-2779.